Everybody lies. Friends lie to friends. Children lie to their parents. Politicians lie to constituents. And, inevitably, husbands and wives lie to each other. Lies between lovers have tremendous potential to both nurture and destroy a relationship. It is easy to underestimate the power that lies- even seemingly harmless lies- can wield in your marriage. Tell Me No Lies explores the complexity of honesty versus deception in marriage and reveals the many reasons behind the lies we tell our partners (and ourselves).
Learn the four marital stages:
* The Honeymoon
* Emerging Differences
* Freedom
* Together as Two
Discover how to recognize how lying can lead to serious trouble at each stage. The signs include:
* The Dark Side of the Honeymoon, when couples refuse to acknowledge any problems
* The Stalemate, when couples fight and brutalize each other with exaggerated truths
* Freedom Unhinged, when independence outweighs togetherness and marital anarchy ensues.
Offering a new way of thinking about truth and deception, this book will help you understand the dynamics of your marriage in the context of the marital stages. If you can identify your marital stage, you can overcome the barriers to honesty and move on to a happier and more fulfilling marriage!
Ellyn Bader, PhD, is in private practice and is Co-Director of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. Over the past 25 years she has conducted professional training programs in couples therapy and has trained therapists throughout the United States as well as Europe, Asia, South America, and Australia. She is a past president of the International Transactional Analysis Association and a recipient of the Clark Vincent Award for an outstanding literary contribution to the field of marital therapy from the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Dr. Bader is frequently invited to speak at national and international conferences. She and her husband, Peter Pearson, Ph.D., coauthored the books, “In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment in Couples Therapy” (Brunner/Mazel) and “Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build an Honest Marriage” (St. Martin’s Press).
Speaker Disclosures:
Financial: Ellyn Bader is the director of The Couples Institute and receives compensation as a consultant. She receives royalties as a published author. Ellyn Bader receives a speaking honorarium and recording royalties from PESI, Inc. She has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Ellyn Bader is a member of the American Psychological Association, the International Transactional Analysis Association, and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.
Peter Pearson, Ph.D., co-founded The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California, in 1984 with his wife, Ellyn Bader, Ph.D. Together they directed The Couples Institute until Pete retired as a licensed psychologist in 2018. In addition to running a private practice from 1984 – 2018, he served as an Associate Consulting Professor at Stanford University, School of Counseling Psychology for 11 years. Dr. Pearson also conducted intensive workshops for couples and is frequently invited to speak at conferences for therapists. He speaks with real life experience, having averaged 24 hours of couples per week for much of his career. His major training belief is that learning couples therapy ought to be practical, stimulating, and engaging, with a good dose of humor.
Dr. Pearson and his wife, Dr. Bader, have appeared on numerous radio and TV shows including the “Today” show and the “CBS Morning Show.” They have been married to each other since 1984 and have worked together since 1982. They have had multiple opportunities to successfully practice what they preach.
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